Hello my Friend,
I woke up this morning with load on my mind. I had so many thoughts running through my mind that I thought to myself, "Wow, maybe I have ADHD." 😃 But in all seriousness, the main thing that was running through my brain was, "How in the world can I manage my house in a way that will support us better?".
You see, our family is made up of a 10 year old boy with ADHD, a daughter who is Hard of hearing, and Dad (my Husband) who is still trying to find his way in life, and Me, the codependent people pleaser who doesn't like conflict and tries to make everyone else happy.
In my opinion, that is a receipt for disaster.
AND, I just realized that I GET TO put a stop to it and do something different. I don't have to let this go on. And if I truly Honor and Love my family, then I GET TO make changes, no matter how much the family hates it, or puts up a fight. Because, having routines and keeping the house clean is whats best for the family, and will help us all feel better.
So, without further ado, lets get into the meat and Potatoes for this post.
Codependency can have a significant impact on family dynamics, especially for moms facing challenging family situations. Understanding what codependency is and how it can affect your relationships with family members is crucial. Codependency involves relying on others for self-worth and identity, often neglecting your own needs and desires in the process. This can lead to a cycle of dependency and enable unhealthy behaviors within the family.
Recognizing the signs of codependency in your life is the first step towards managing family expectations. Seeking professional help or therapy can provide a deeper understanding of codependency and its impact on family dynamics, helping you break free from codependent patterns and fostering healthier relationships with your loved ones.
An essential strategy for managing family expectations as a codependent mom is setting boundaries. (More on setting boundaries and another post) It's crucial to establish clear boundaries with your family members to safeguard your own well-being and steer clear of codependent behaviors. This might mean politely declining certain requests or responsibilities that don't align with your own needs and priorities.
Additionally, prioritizing self-care is vital for codependent moms. Taking time for yourself and honoring your own needs and desires isn't selfish; it's a key part of being a healthy and content mom. This could involve engaging in activities and hobbies that bring you joy, seeking support from others, and practicing self-care routines like exercise, meditation, or simply taking breaks when necessary.
Effective communication is key in managing family expectations as a codependent mom. It's crucial to clearly express your needs, desires, and boundaries to your family members. This involves engaging in open and honest conversations, actively listening to each other's perspectives, and finding common ground when needed.
Additionally, practicing self-reflection is essential. Take the time to check in with your emotions, thoughts, and desires, and communicate them in a positive and constructive manner. By honing your communication skills, you can cultivate healthier relationships with your family members and establish reasonable expectations.
Navigating codependency as a mom can be a tough journey, but seeking support from others who understand your struggles is crucial. Consider joining support groups or reaching out for therapy or counseling. Connecting with individuals who share similar experiences can offer validation, guidance, and a sense of belonging. Additionally, professional help can provide valuable insights, tools, and strategies to break free from codependent patterns and foster healthier dynamics within your family.
It's essential to prioritize your own growth, development, and autonomy, even if it means making changes that might not sit well with the family. This includes setting personal goals, exploring new interests, and asserting your identity beyond just being a mom. Embracing personal growth and independence allows you to become the mom you aspire to be and build a fulfilling life for yourself and your family.
In Conclusion, If you are like me, a people pleasing mom who neglects your own needs, you may be a codependent mom and understand that is your first step. Next, you want to identify what will make YOU happy, then set gentle boundaries around your time to help make that happen. When the boundaries are pushed, and they will be, have an open and honest conversation with your family, coming from a place of I. Help them understand why this is so important to YOU. If you need to, seek help from others who know what it's like to set boundaries for the first time. And Prioritize, learning and growing personally. 😉 HINT: You are doing that now, so GOOD JOB!
I would love to know your thoughts on this. Is this something you struggle with? Have you mastered this already? Please leave your comments below, as the community will benefit from your experience greatly.
Till Next Time, Stay Strong My Friend!