How To Keep your Sanity While Getting back into a School Routine with Strong Willed Kids

Gosh! It's August already! I'm always amazed at how fast time flies when your an adult. I don't know about you but this summer seemed like a blink of the eye. 

I'm not sure about your kids, but my kids start school next week. WOW! It's hard to even imagen. But with that said, that also comes with getting back into a school routine. For the summer, I usually am way more relaxed with my kiddo, giving him lots of room to just be him self, and discover the world. But that also means, come school time, I need to tighten up the ship and start preparing for life in school before school even begins. Kiddos, specially those Strong willed spicy ones, need lots of preparation. And it takes a few weeks to get back into that routine. So, we start prepping the first week of August. Now the last few years school seems to be starting earlier, So I can expect the first week of school to be a challenge for him. But it's also so important to have the structure started. 

It can also be very draining and frustrating for us moms. Getting back into a routine with any kid is hard, but for these strong willed kiddos who only want to play, that transition can be challenging. And that challenge can take a toll on our mental health.  

So, Today, we are going to discover some strategies to help your Spicy, Strong willed kiddo transition back into school routines, and practical strategies to help you keep your cool and sanity.

Creating a Morning Routine To Simplify Your Life

During the summer for us, there is almost no structure (almost! 😉). As I mentioned earlier, I like to let my son be himself and discover the things that are most important to him (Play Time and friends). However, when it comes to school time, starting the day with a well-defined morning routine really helps set the tone for his day, and provides stability and predictability. This way he knows exactly what is expected of him. However, I'm not going to lie, this has been a challenge for us these last few years. But he will be in Middle school next year, (Yicks!!!) and there is no time like the present to start.  

So, this year we are going to create a checklist of morning tasks he will need to complete each day that will support both his mental focus and mental health. And by keeping this routine consistent and using visual charts or apps (which is what my son is into these days) it will help him track his progress and help me get more done. This will help him, being the Strong Willed Spicy one he is, build self-sufficiency and reduce the burden of the dreaded morning chaos (Yay for MOM!). I found that S'moresUP is a great app for these checklists, and for keeping track of other chores and rewords points. You can get the app here HERE

Now, To Simplify YOUR Life, think of some things you wish your kiddo did in the mornings, and somethings that would make your life easier. Put those on the list, and reward them for doing them. Strong Willed kiddos need LOTS of Positive reinforcements. Because I think we can all agree that yelling, just doesn't work. And it makes a for a very bad non productive morning for everyone. 

Here are some examples from my list:

• Get out of bed on time
• Brush your teeth
• Comb your hair
• Get dressed on your own (he tends to want me to get his cloths)
• Get your back pack and lunch box
• Be on time for school, or bus

And to make things even easier for the whole family, you can encourage your kiddo to prepare for the next day the night before. By laying out clothes and packing the school bag you can minimize the rush in the morning, providing more efficiency, and wasting less time. It's also helpful to establish wake-up and departure times and stick to them. Consistency in these times is key in enhancing your kiddos internal clock and reduce resistance.

Setting Boundaries and a Reward System

Setting boundaries with your kiddo can be challenging with strong willed kiddos, but very necessary. These kids thrive on guidance and firm decisions but they don't like change. And setting and enforcing your boundaries can be very draining and frustrating to stick to. But it is SOOO important to stick to. I know for me, my kiddo will continue to push to get his way, and in that moment, I get to practice staying firm. For example, I mentioned earlier that in the past, my son will ask me to get his cloths as he is crawling out of bed 5 mins before we have to leave. Which is very frustrating, and stressful. For my Mental Health, I am focusing on standing my ground and saying in a firm by kinds tone, "No, you can to get your cloths if you want to earn Smores." Now, because he is hipper focused on making money right now, I have a feeling this is going to work. But I will keep you posted on that. 

Which leads me to a Reward System. Some people might call it a bribe, but for Strong Willed kiddos they tend to respond better with Rewards rather then punishments. So, to Simplify the process of starting, or getting back into a routine, setting up a reward system will do wonders on easing the stress and anxiety of getting kiddos on board with the new way of doing things. And once those tasks in your routine become habit, you change up the tasks and offer rewards for something else, like adding something new to the routine, if times allows that. 

When Reward Systems Don't Work

If your kiddo is anything like mine, sometimes rewards don't work as intended. My son is notorious for the, "I don't care" move, specially when he cares more about his comfort then the reward. In his mind, he can always earn that reward later or on something else. Which tends to be very frustrating. He needs to get up and out of bed even if he doesn't care about the reward. Am I Right!?!?! 

SO, When Rewards don't work, we get to use a different tactic. For me, this looks like, "Ok, if you don't get out of bed now, you will loss your reward, and you will have to go to bed earlier tonight so that you can get up on time the next day." One of two things will happen. He will say, "Ok fine" Or get really mad about that. In that moment, it is SOOO important to hold our ground and stick to our word. Strong willed kids, like my son, learn best from logical consequences. Meaning, he needs to learn the hard way that I mean business and I mean what I say. I feel like this could be a blog post in itself. Maybe will be someday. 

Well I hope this post was helpful and gave you some ideas on how to get back into the school routine and keep your sanity intact. If you have any questions about anything I said, please reach out. You can email me at Deanna@seasonsfromthehart.com. I am here to help you through what ever season of life you might be in. You can also leave a comment below. I promise to respond. Also, if you have any helpful tips or tricks that work for you, please share them in the comments below. 

Till next time, Stay Strong my Friend!